Five Black Gender-Nonconforming People Talk About Style, Fit, and Frustration
Shopping for clothes should be a form of self-expression—a chance to explore identity, style, and power. But for many Black gender-nonconforming people, it can feel more like a reminder of how the fashion industry still doesn’t see them.
To better understand the emotional and practical experience of finding clothing while living outside the gender binary, we interviewed five Black gender-expansive individuals: Michael, Devine, Micah, Mekhi, and Kaia. We asked them one key question:
“What is your usual experience like when shopping for clothes?”
Their answers reveal the tension between wanting to dress freely and the limitations imposed by sizing systems, online shopping interfaces, and store environments not built with them in mind.
Michael
“When I shop for clothes, it’s usually online—and honestly, it’s overwhelming. Google will show you so many options, it feels like too much. I like Depop, but it’s not exactly what I want—it’s more of a fallback. I don’t shop in person unless it’s at a thrift store, a curated vintage shop, or a small boutique that feels easier to navigate. Big stores are stressful and don’t feel like they’re made for people like me.”
Devine
“My usual shopping experience is kind of a patchwork. I end up on Depop a lot, or thrifting, or I’ll dig through old clothes I already have and try to make something new out of them. I accessorize or modify things to make them feel more like me. It’s rare that I find exactly what I want, so I’m always trying to transform what I’ve got into something that fits how I feel.”
Micah
“When I go shopping, I usually end up feeling disappointed. I get excited about finding something new, but then nothing really speaks to me. I’m in a transition phase right now, and I honestly don’t even know where to look. It makes me sad because shopping is supposed to be fun.
I hate shopping in person—it makes me anxious. I can’t find anything that feels right unless I’m thrifting. Online shopping gives me more options, but I’m scared to buy something, try it on, and feel like I look too girly or feminine. I want to expand my style, but I’m tired of feeling boxed in.
Sometimes I just thrift and flee. I haven’t shopped online in a while because I struggle to envision how new things will work with what I already own. I wish there were a way to see my closet next to the stuff I’m thinking about buying.”
Mekhi
“My usual experience shopping for clothes is honestly frustrating. I like shopping online better because at least I have more choices. Shopping in person usually just feels bad. Sometimes I’ll thrift, grab a couple things, and dip—like, I don’t even want to be in the store.
One of my biggest problems is envisioning how something new will go with what I already have. I wish I could see my closet next to what’s in my shopping cart. It would make things so much easier if I could plan outfits visually instead of just guessing and hoping it works.”
Kaia
“My usual experience when shopping is… limited. I can’t shop at a lot of places because they just don’t carry clothes that work for me. When I’m online, it’s really hard to know how something is going to look or fit in real life. Things aren’t tailored, and it’s hard to feel comfortable when the sizing’s off.
I’m trying to shop with more intention now. I want to make sure that whatever I get really works for my life. I’ve been asking myself: Does this actually go with the clothes I already have? Do I just like this item—or can I actually see myself wearing it and feeling good in it?”
Final Thoughts
Shopping is more than just a transaction—it’s a moment of reflection, a conversation between body, mind, and society. For Black gender-nonconforming folks, that conversation often feels like a one-way dialogue. They’re making it work: customizing, thrifting, and piecing together wardrobes that feel authentic. But they deserve more.
They deserve options that reflect the fluidity of their identities. They deserve to feel safe, seen, and inspired. Listening to these voices is just the beginning—but it’s where all real change starts.
Want to read more about how we’re starting the first experiment in gender-expansive sizing?
Hit up our Events Page.
No pressure. No performance. Just you—and your fit.
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